This usually doesn't come until you feel very comfortable with your conversational partner. The surest way to get here is to not reveal too much too soon. An example of too much too soon might be telling someone all the details of a messy divorce just five minutes into meeting them, or upon learning someone is of a different political party, launching into a condemnation of that party.

A successful conversation starts at level one and proceeds at a comfortable pace through the second and third levels and continues to the fourth level, although usually not during your first meeting. With some people, you will find yourself moving easily through at least the first three stages, if not to stage four. It usually takes a lot of conversations with someone you feel very comfortable with before you progress to level four.