Why Don't People Listen?
Let's take a look at the problems and some possible solutions .
(Click on each problem to read the solution.)
The listener has decided in advance that the speaker or the subject will be uninteresting.
This leads the listener to tune out. Instead, tell yourself you will make a real effort to learn something new during the conversation and put effort into listening.
The listener is distracted when someone is speaking.
Choose an area without distractions. Refuse to be distracted.
The listener didn't adjust to what the speaker was saying. For example, you were talking about the weather, but the topic has now shifted to what the speaker did on vacation.
This requires some mental agility. You could ask the speaker to slow down and give you time to shift gears.
The listener took too many notes.
Rather than copy down every word, just note key points. This takes practice, but is worthwhile mastering.
The listener felt that what was being said was too difficult to understand so they tuned out.
The listener should ask questions to clarify, or ask the speaker to illustrate the point. The speaker can also watch for non-verbal cues that the listener is getting confused and adapt their language to help communication.
The listener got sidetracked by their own biases.
Let's say the speaker used the word "refugee" to refer to the people made homeless by a flood or earthquake. You prefer the word "victim." This may be important to you, but try not to raise this point until the speaker has had opportunity to complete their thoughts.
The listener jumped in too soon to relate their own ideas or experience.
Be patient. Listen. Give the other person their turn. Then present your ideas or experiences, if appropriate.
The listener listened only for the facts and didn't pay attention to body language.
This is all about increasing your awareness of those around you and how they are reacting emotionally to what is being said. Learn more about body language to help you.
The listener was daydreaming.
Self-discipline is required to listen. Bring yourself back to the conversation by internally saying "stop." Remember to make eye contact to connect with the speaker. This will also help you to stay engaged.