Get in the habit of asking good questions to clarify what has been said. We can do this by paraphrasing ("Are you saying…?") or by asking other questions such as, "Do you mean…?"

Other open questions that can gather more information include:

• What do you think we can do about this?
• What would you like me to stop doing?
• Would it be helpful if I…?
• Supposing we were to…?
• Help me understand where you're coming from?
• Let's set a time when we can talk about the changes we're both prepared to make.
• I'm prepared to… Would that help with the situation?