Remember the saying from Stephen Covey’s book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.” You will want to gather information from others in order to understand them better. Most of us are better at presenting our own point of view than we are at drawing out information from others.

Here are some useful clarifying questions:

• What do you think we can do about this?
• What would you like me to stop doing?
• Would it be helpful if I…?
• Supposing we were to…?
• Can you help me understand where you’re coming from?
• Can we set a time to discuss the changes we’re both prepared to make?
• I’m prepared to… Would that ease the situation?