Assertiveness is a word we tend to use always understanding what it means. Assertiveness is not about getting your own way, and it is not a way to manipulate people so you get your own way while you look like you are being considerate. Those are aggressive traits. Rather, assertive people express their feelings, needs, and opinions in a forthright manner, while respecting how other people feel and think. Assertive people stop short of the abrasive manner that is the hallmark of the aggressive person.

As we explore the differences among assertive, passive, and aggressive behaviors, you may begin to feel that a little assertiveness is just what you need to cut through many of the interpersonal problems that spring up every day.

Often the best way to understand something is through comparison, so we’ll do a little of that here.