When your problem person is talking:

• Blending visibly and audibly
• Backtracking or echoing some of their own words
• Clarifying their meaning, intent, and criteria
• Summarizing what you’ve heard
• Confirming to find out if you got it right

While blending is an important skill to use when dealing with others, never blend with a hostile gesture directed at you. Don’t meet aggression with aggression. If the other person raises their voice or shakes their fist, the key to blending is to underplay it assertively.

Your action plan for angry, aggressive people should include:

• Hold your ground and use deep breathing to stay calm.
• Interrupt the attack by repeating their name several times.
• Quickly backtrack or echo their main point to show them you have been respectfully listening.
• Aim for the bottom line by taking ownership and expressing the situation from your point of view.