People can have difficulty being assertive. They choose passive responses to life, perhaps to avoid conflict. They feel helpless, insecure, or resentful, and have a difficult time saying “no.” They may feel defensive but unable to defend themselves.

On the other hand, people may also be arrogant, pompous, and presumptuous to compensate for feelings of inadequacy. They may yell, argue, and cajole to get what they want. They meet life in an aggressive way.

The assertive person is someone who communicates with others on the best of all possible levels, where there are no losers, fools, or enemies—just two people who are mutually trying to solve their problems.

Assertive behavior allows a person to express honest feelings in a straightforward way, and to exercise personal rights without changing or threatening the rights of others. Assertive people feel positive about themselves and others. They are willing to give others a chance to be reasonable before using less positive tactics. They want to openly discuss problems based on facts and needs. Assertion is based on respect for yourself, and for the other person.