Now that you have the tools to improve your assertiveness level, you may be pleasantly surprised at how readily others accept and respect your assertiveness. You must be prepared, however, for the occasional tough cookie who responds aggressively with verbal attacks, put-downs, or demands. When this happens, here are some techniques you can use to respond to the situation:

• Speak assertively, but with empathy, to show the other person you have received their message.
• Repeat your assertion by repeating your original response, while also responding to legitimate points made by the other person.
• Use active listening and open questions to clarify your understanding of the other person's position.

Think of situations where you could use this formula. Practice the wording to yourself and then try it out in a fairly non-stressful situation and see how it works. Like most things, it gets easier with practice.

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Session 8: Communication Skills