You can use this same type of message when you are giving feedback about someone else's behavior. Again, the feedback should be non-judgmental, but it should be specific.

There are four steps to this message.

Example:

1. “When you leave your papers scattered all over the office…”
2. “Both of us have a hard time finding them when you need them again.”
3. “I feel like I’m responsible for tracking them down, but sometimes I don’t even know where to start.”
4. “I’d like you to put all those papers in one big pile in that basket on my desk. I could file them at the end of the day, and we would have them when we need them. Would that work for you?”

Remember: When you are stating feelings, state feelings directly, not evaluations or solutions.