Once you understand the request and decide you want to say no, choose the kind of no that best suits the person and situation. Below are some general rules to follow.

Say no firmly and calmly, without saying, “I’m sorry,” which weakens your position.

Say no, followed by a straightforward explanation of what you are feeling or what you are willing to do.

Say no, and then give a choice or alternative.

Say no and then clarify your reasons. This does not include long-winded statements filled with excuses, justifications, and rationalizations. It’s enough that you do not want to say yes. Your clarification is given to provide the receiver with more information so they better understand your position.

Use your natural no. You may have developed your own style of saying no based on your past experience and personality. If so, use it.

Make an empathetic listening statement and then say no. You may paraphrase the content and feeling of the request, and then state your no.

Example: “I can see that it is important to you that one of my assistants gets your report done. I’d like to have someone do it, but my staff is already overburdened with high priority tasks to be completed by the end of the day.”

Say yes, and then give your reasons for not doing it or your alternative solution. This approach is very interesting. You may want to use it in situations when you are willing to meet the request, but not at the time or in the way the other person wants it.