Could there really be a payoff to anger? Yes! There is usually some sort of pay-off for us: people do what we ask them to do, our tension is released, and for a brief moment we feel better, or we feel we’ve gotten revenge. One thing you should try to do is figure out what your pay-off is.

Pay-Off List

For each anger pay-off below, do a mental inventory of relationships and situations in your life, such as anger with your family, friends, or co-workers; anger when driving; or anger at inanimate objects. See if that pay-off is in any way influencing or reinforcing your anger. If it is, write an example in the space provided.