Do you know things about you that are true but you would prefer to avoid? When people make comments about things that we are ashamed of or that we try to deny, we say that they are “pushing our buttons.”

• “When did you become a race car driver?” (criticizing our driving)
• “Are you sure you should be eating that?” (criticizing our diet)
• “You don’t belong here.” (insulting our membership in a group or workplace)
• “Why don’t you learn to speak the language?” (insulting our command of the local language)

Depending on how well we have accepted our own shortcomings, and how we respond to people’s comments, you may have more or fewer hot buttons at different times of your life. A lazy Saturday afternoon that is interrupted by someone saying “You never do anything around the house,” can push a lazy button and a guilt button. You may start thinking, “Should I be cleaning that bathroom right now?”, or, “I knew I should have vacuumed before I sat down!”

Feeling bad about our bodies is a common hot button. You might secretly think, “I am too fat/skinny/pale/dark/ugly.” A comment from someone else can set us off.