This needs to be pleasant, or at least neutral. The face should be relaxed instead of tense to convey that you are comfortable with your role in encouraging and supporting the conversation taking place.

Smiles are always welcome and help people to relax. When we are tense, however, our smiles can look like grimaces. Practice smiling in a mirror and get comfortable with offering more smiles. This shows that you like what you are doing and that you enjoy the process underway, as opposed to demonstrating that you see giving feedback as a dreaded task.

When you speak with people, your eye contact needs to be steady and confident. Don’t stare people down, but do look at them. While there are cultural aspects to eye contact, during feedback it’s our position that you need to look at people so that they see you are being genuine and honest. Also, if you are nervous you will tend to blink more frequently which can make it look like you have something to hide. Try to relax so that you blink at a more normal rate.

This needs to be welcoming, confident, and comfortable. Even if we are incredibly busy, our body language should show that we are interested and focused on this conversation with this person at this time. Leaning into the conversation, avoiding distractions such as phone calls or people at the door, controlling nervousness (which can happen during those first performance reviews, disciplinary reviews, and even informal feedback), all convey positive messages through our body language.