Lose-Lose

A lose-lose outcome means that no one gets what they really want, and there is a strong likelihood that the level of conflict and underlying feelings about what is happening are unlikely to change. A lose-lose result can come from one or both parties avoiding, compromising, or trying to smooth things over.

Avoidance can be practiced by one or both parties, where they pretend the conflict doesn’t exist, or hope that it will simply fade away. Compromising means that both parties agree to give something up in order to reach agreement. Smoothing highlights similarities and areas of agreement while playing down the differences. Smoothing may ignore the actual conflict in an effort to achieve common interests or even just a peaceful coexistence.

Compromising can lead to a lose-lose outcome because it occurs when each side of the conflict gives something up that they saw as valuable. One outcome of this seemingly conciliatory approach can be that each party incubates issues, and while on the surface they may appear to be settled, they can just as easily reappear later.