Many people are better at presenting their own point of view than they are at drawing out information from others. Probing techniques can help you draw out information from the individual and help you understand their side of the difficult conversation.

One of the most common ways of probing is to ask an open question, such as:

• “Can you describe that more clearly?”
• “Would you give me a specific example of what you mean?”
• “What do you think we should do?”

The difficulty here is that if you ask too many of these probing questions, the other person begins to feel like they are under interrogation. Be thoughtful about what and how you ask. Consider how many probes you really need to offer.

A second, very effective way of probing is a pause. Stop talking. Let the other person fill the silence.